i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
