did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
