Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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