apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
