youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
