So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
