I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Randomize
