Fuck appropriateness.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
