its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
