Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
