ya dads aren't the best wingmen
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
