an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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