Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Is it because I queefed?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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