I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
