I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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