Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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