just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
