Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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