I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I wish I only lived at night.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
