the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
