hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
