already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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