My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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