she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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