I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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