My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
