I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
