Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize
