happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
