It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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