How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
