Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
