$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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