At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Randomize
