Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
