So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
