have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
