I want to make a zoo with you.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Ladies don't puke and tell
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Randomize
