I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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