Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
