fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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