So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
We're too hungover to prance.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
