I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
