Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Randomize
