I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
