and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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