Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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