Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
