come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
