Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
